Lord, as time goes by it is hard to look back or reminisce upon anything. Maybe I try my best to avoid looking back or even peeking because it hurts to look back into a time that is no longer tangible, a life that is no longer ours. It is hard to move forth without -genuinely- moving forth. So, dear Lord I come here as your humble sinner asking you for the strength to endure these coming days, the power to see further than these simple minds. Enlighten me with your wisdom to see these men as more than what they utter; as humans, as wholes. It's becoming such a hard journey from darkness to light because dear Lord there is so much darkness encompassing my days. Lord, how can I see the good in the world, the future ahead with some glimpse of undecided hope? Where as I grow older I fear I won't be worth the wrinkles I’ll be wearing on my face if I haven't made a change, if I continue accepting their square shaped brains and raven black hearts. It has become a disgusting society to live in, dear Lord. I know you are here with us yet it gets lonely with their monotonous words and tuned laughter. War, death, and privileged entities, what an odd combination. What an odd reality. The rich get richer and continue complaining about every flaw in this land. Lord, somedays I doubt they deserve any of your light. Regardless, you guide them with signs of where the good is yet they continue to dwell in their imaginary despair cloaked in their so called "patriotism". Dear Lord, give me strength to turn my rage into something of worth.
# 200Days have changed me. 100 felt important 200 just doesn't have a ring to it. It hurts but it doesn't hurt like it used to, not because I grew numb to death, rather I learned that death is like an arch it pulls you back a step -or two- then when it let go's you leap forward with full force. 200 days means nothing. I feel the same anger and frustration I have been feeling these past six months, every air raid is still as petrifying as the very first one. The only thing that changed is I now know who I am mad at and why I am mad at them. 200 days have made me stronger. I learned that death has a bitter-sweet tang. A taste I sometimes crave. I linger for the way death stares us bluntly in the eyes and leaves us there awaiting a closer encounter. Everyday that passes is a closer day to the end. 200 days has supported me with faith. 200 days and still counting.
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