"The past is a place of reference not a place of residence" this is a sentence I have to constantly remind myself. It is okay to look back to ponder then proceed, it is life nothing more, as tough and as complicated as it can get. That being said; I never choose to revisit the past, I cannot decide whether it is due to fear or rather being past the past. I choose to deem it as acceptance, that it is a chapter of history I can learn from but should never mourn upon, although I usually choose the route of not looking back. January 5th 2024, Friday, was one of those extremely rare days that I sensed I was sent through a time capsule, 8 years back, early 2015 to be exact.
As I heard the sound of the war-crafts bolting through the serene blue sky of Sanaa, I was triggered. My first reaction was to run holding my head down, waiting for my home to come crumbing down to the ground. My rapid processing mechanism was concluding that Saudi is back at bombarding us, in sequence with the killings and assassinations that emerged the last couple of weeks throughout the “Axis of Resistance” as you might have heard of, by following the news. I thought this is it, Yemen is getting bombarded for standing with the people of Palestine. All of these thoughts were flooding through my mind, drowning me, in a matter of seconds; as I ran from the kitchen where I was making us tea for our afternoon gathering to watch the outing of hundreds of thousands of Yemeni men in the capital of Sanaa supporting Palestine, as we do every Friday.
As soon as my heart stopped pacing and my breathing regulated, I started contemplating why no-one else was running but me. My sister hugged me and said: don’t worry it is a Yemeni war-craft hovering through Sanaa, showing the “Prosperity Guardians” that we are now a force to be reckoned with. At that moment, I had a sigh of relief, as we ran up to the roof to watch first hand the war-crafts zooming through our sovereign sky. I felt the salty droplets streaming down my cheek, not of fear, but of might. I could not process or begin to comprehend that this sound that once made me shiver to my bones, that once put me at a loss of words, unable to speak, was now engulfing me in pride, honor, and dignity. On Friday, I heard them, the war-crafts, but I was not the same person I once was, I felt safe and secure because those war-crafts were not on a mission to kill me or my loved ones or both. These war-crafts were there to reassure me that I am now safe, these are my country's air force. The country that only eight years ago, had utterly no form of an Air Force not even an AA (Anti-aircraft) defense.
Eight years ago, we were left to fend for ourselves against such vile war crimes with our bare bodies, just like our brothers in Palestine today, just like our brothers in Palestine for the past 75 years. I was told time and time again to be unbiased to come to terms with the coalition against Yemen, to label it as a “civil war” and move forth with my life. I could never bring myself to accept this hypocrisy, that I was to be given a label and I was required to go with it or else I would be regarded as biased or small minded. I take my biased stances with honor. Today I take the decision of looking back into the past 8 years, years that changed me, who I am, what I believe in. I reminisce on that little girl scared for her life, clueless, trying to convince everyone that she is okay, that she loves her country and she will make it out alive. I graduated high school and then graduated university, and it all felt like a whim, but it was never a matter of how much I learnt it was how much I matured. I have come to the realization that maturity has nothing to do with how far you leave your hometown or how many initials you can place before your name. It is the ability to go through hardship and trauma and not allowing it to stop you from moving forth with your life, even if it comes in the form of air-raids and shelling.
I can not believe it has been close to nine years since that very first missile dropped on Yemen by the Saudi-led coalition. It feels like yesterday, it rattled us as a nation to our cores, the fear of the unknown, the fear of tomorrow, if there would ever be a tomorrow. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years, so many lives have gone, so many limbs have perished, so many souls scarred for life. I do not believe a day could come where I would come to terms with the coalition as a whole; from main participants to supporters to unbiased people watching from afar, -or even worse up close-. I have been terrified of the beautiful blue sky for so long, it is hard to look up in search for tranquility when all you can remember is the bright light, the haunting sound, and your whole home shaking.
It has been a few years of "ceasefire" in Sanaa the capital in specific, I cannot plainly say an entire ceasefire considering that the cities near the borders are still being bombarded till this day although everyone chooses to disregard this painful truth. The ceasefire here in the capital is quite odd, I constantly feel cautious towards the skies like something might come shooting down on me at any moment, the situation is like a comma, you know it is not the end which is unsettling, but at the very least it is not the beginning. If they decide to come at us again at least it won't be our first rally. I believe the current situation has most definitely put Yemen on the map, loud and clear. I also believe Prosperity Guardian is not an unknown term and I feel prepared, I am no longer afraid, I am filled with fury and fire, absolutely nothing can change where I stand or who I stand with. Time teaches you who is truly watching out for you and who is on the watch for your downfall. It is only human to feel like life is tough, unbearable at times, but the value of freedom is worthy no matter how much it might cost, it will always be a price I am willing to pay. Even if the price is my youth, my health, my blood, or my entire existence, if that is what it takes for my dear country to gain its sovereignty.
The last 97 days have been heart-wrenching and soul breaking seeing the pain our brothers and sisters in Palestine are enduring and I feel a personal connection, a connection that is almost spiritual. The Palestinian injustice has always been near and dear to us in Yemen since it all began over 75 years ago, it has been heightened in the last decade for my generation, a generation once brainwashed by "The American Dream" and the belief of a just “International Community”, a generation who constantly fled from their origins and their roots. The past decade has shown us the true colors of the brutal, cold-blooded humanitarian organizations. The truth is painful but refreshing like a cold plunge in mid-winter. The Palestinian injustice has always been known to us as neighboring Arabs but only in the past few years has light been shed so intensely on the case. Hence, I am now well aware, although I feel extremely guilty that I was not as enlightened before as I am today, filling me with wrath towards all the people I once believed were defenders of peace and human rights. I now know only certain people are worth defending in their hypocritical eyes.
Seeing the Palestinians' struggle for the past three months brought back the memories of what Yemenis have been through. It is safe to say, that our shared injustice and pain makes for an eternal bond linked by steadfastness, perseverance, and a cause we believe in. Yemen has chosen to stand with the suffering of the Palestinians by changing the sails of ships from the Red Sea to the Cape of Good Hope. Who would have imagined that the people of Yemen who were once taught to accept any leftovers given by our neighboring countries, are now making decision that change the entire economical course of the seas. The same country that was once bombed continuously and left to moan in silence, to grieve in solitude. So much can change in the course of a couple of years there are no ultimatums in life nothing is guaranteed to remain the same. I am filled with unprecedented pride knowing the dark horse gained power and used it for good to help the people of Palestine, proving once again that Yemen is rising from the rubbles with grace and gratitude to God for aiding us through our hardships and thanking him through relieving those struggling of oppression like we once did, but a million times worse. I thank God for where we are today, and who we stand with, who we stand by.
As I wrote this entry last Friday, postponing it until it was exactly as I wanted it to be interpreted, my final edits being written down, in hopes of uploading today Friday the 12th of January, just a week later. I have lived to tell yet another tale, as always a tale of crime and injustice. I was awoken at 2 am today, to the sound of bombings. As you all may expect this time around Saudi seems to be out of the game. It is now the US and the UK bombing Sanaa, Saada, Taiz, Hajjah, and Hodeidah, in attempts to prove that they have the upper hand. I have one thing to say, I am not scared of your missiles, the people you thought you broke eight years ago are still here stronger than ever, ready for it all. Bomb us all you want, you will never get us to kneel. We will stand tall and Yemen will reign supreme. Five soldiers were killed and six injured, I pray no one was else was hurt and I hope to live to tell another tale.
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