A letter to God

Dear God,

You have the power to make me numb. The power to no longer linger on to the past. You can heal me with all my wounds. Dear God, I know you know the bigger picture. It's merely the fact that lately days seems more unbearable and the people I am coming across are even worse. I can no longer escape them because it feels like I am escaping my soul. Dear God, 17 is harder than I thought -so much harder-. You feel like complaining is invalid because your thoughts and complaints are disregarded. Yet every mistake you make is held against you with all the power in the world.  Dear God, I know everybody is somebody and you care about every one; I only wish that with every sin we commit we become less and less important till at one point we vanish. I wouldn't mind vanishing if everyone got their fair share. Dear God, I am tired of living in fear of tomorrow. I only sometimes crave I had a relatively normal life; one with peace. Dear God, I can live my life in fear of the future, but I can not live in fear of you. I know I was taught to, but I can't. I know that you created all things of beauty. Hence, you are beauty and grace. Dear God, I wish that I'm right and I pray you can hear me without a preacher's support or advanced Arabic words. I know you are listening even as I type. Why does everyone scare me of you? Of what you'll do if I wrong what's right. Dear God, I know I should be taking more care of the two sockets that lie on the display of my body, I know they'll run dry. I am trying. I am sorry. Dear God, I wish I were with you embraced by your goodness rather than this dark, cruel world. Dear God, it hurts and I wish it would stop stabbing me. Dear God, seeing those bodies in flames broke my heart. Dear God, when will this all end? Dear God, please end it.