The Ambiguous Odyssey

I remember my excitement for 2010 I had just turned 11 and the world seemed to be my oyster, I had a whole plan set out for myself. I was a hardheaded child with a plan, a well thought of plan, I was going to graduate high school at 17 and start university directly after, as a law student of course, and Harvard was the obvious choice. Nothing seemed too far, nothing seemed unreachable, every dream I had was valid, every dream was a possibility. It is hard to reminisce the past, how all that energy is long gone, I blame this war for it.  In February of 2015, I was sixteen preparing for my AS-Levels to elevate my chance of getting into a league school, my life revolved around books and studying, I would stay put for six hours straight without budging studying maths day in, day out. I missed out on so much all for an exam I never took because the moment this aggression began all hell broke loose, everything was cancelled and I was left to panic and cry that my life plan wou...

When I just turned fifteen during early 2014, my brother and I were traveling to Spain in the Summer but as Yemenis we had a few bumps on the road. Our American passports were expired and we only had our diplomatic ones which in some countries actually mean some sort of immunity, but not in Yemen not under Hadi’s ruling. There was no Spanish embassy, so we went to the Italian embassy to get shin-gin visas. As we arrived to the embassy with our uncle who wasn’t allowed to come inside, only my brother and I were allowed in. The degradation began with their searching of our belongings, we were not allowed to let our phones inside and we were treated badly at the gate. As we stepped inside the embassy, quite a fancy place, we were led to an empty hall and awaited for what seemed like an eternity then the interrogation began. Finally, a few hours later we were set free and left with papers to fill. I remember how annoyed I felt, but at the same time although I felt degraded and belittl...

Are we chosen, given, or gifted the lives we get?   Are they the accumulation of our actions? Are they tests or are they results? These are the questions that ponder abstemiously in my mind when I hear his wailing, his cries. The human mind such treacherous place, an embodiment of a prison, if this mind feels the imprisonment there is nothing keeping you away from losing all sanity. Why him? Why not me? This question is burying my every thought. Why him? Why not me?   I have been going to see a physical therapist for an issue I have, not one of much importance, I was just a bit concerned. I arrived at exactly 8:30 am and there was almost no one, I was assigned to the last room in the hallway. As I got settled I heard a voice both husky and incomprehensible. I predicted the calls were from an elderly man who was mentally ill and paralyzed. As I was waiting I could hear his grunting and I was growing anxious I decided to approach the room neighboring mine and I saw ...

It’s in moments like these that I am filled with some unspoken form of joy, pride, and hope. Today marks the fourth anniversary of the growing mound of grief we have become. It is hard to come to terms with the thought that when this started I was a teenager that just turned sixteen and now I am twenty and in my third year of university, still alive. Four years later and I am still beating the odds, one torturous day after the other. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought this is how my life would turn out; a constant fear of tomorrow. As this aggression continues to end the souls of many and leaving people homeless you would think that this is where it ends. You would think that the bombs are all we fear; those missile falling from the sky like comets just with the additional fear of death, but it is not, these four years have changed the place I call home. The pain lies here in the fact it hasn’t changed because of the destruction of homes or the death of people al...

My dear, you will never be the right person at the right time, but the fault does not lie within yourself rather it lies in the depth of their faults, their insecurities, their self-loathe. So, don’t you dare put the blame on yourself or carry the burden of others.  The burden of those who give themselves valid excuses to give you the cold shoulder, those who decide that you are the one to blame for every mishap they come across, those are the people you happily cross out of your life. Sometimes those people are the same people who once built walls and fought dragons to protect you but little did you know that one day you would need walls to shield you from them. So, gently my dear, take a deep breath, take a step forward, and set yourself free. Set yourself free from the chains that are no longer visible for these chains have been holding you back for so long. They have been holding you back from all the possibilities of a better tomorrow. Yes, it is hard to break through the shac...

The gift of life is truly an out of this world experience. As I was running around the hospital from the operation theatre to the gynecology and obstetrics section to make sure the patient's blood pressure was stable for her surgery, I ran to double check a few points with the doctor and there was a birth, not any birth but twins! August 2nd, 2018 my third birth to attend and I was filled with butterflies. Twins! I took the papers from the doctor to give the patient's husband to run the labs and to give the BP patient her medications. In that moment I learned that nothing is faster than a second in a hospital; everything happens in the blink of an eye. I ran back to the labor room and a beautiful little girl was on her way out to this world, head first prepared to get down to business. The umbilical cord was cut and she was placed on the heater, disturbed by the excessive lighting and crying for dear life. Just a few feet away her mother was awaiting her second baby to joi...

I remember the very first baby I saw come to life had such a beautiful mother.   Finally, we were upgraded to the labor room! The first week was filled with gauze and linen sheets. It was an eternal process of making beds and folding gauze, and honestly I started to doubt  the day to enter the labor room was ever going to co me and if it was worth all that preparatory work . Everyday, women would come and give birth and there would be other nurses in-training like ourselves that were very “pushy’, so as you could imagine, we were always asked to leave and they would get the chance to watch the gift of life. Next thing we did was go in extra early and build strong relationship with all the people in the labor room. However, we would always arrive 2-3 minutes later than a birth, yet we would get to clean the beautiful newborn and dress them up and our mission was soon to be accomplished! So, the next day we got in, there was such a beautiful woman, painfully l...